10 October 2015, Friday.
I am always saying sorry. But this time I need to say it again. I am switching this experiment in food blog to blog and journal my fight in cancer.
Yes, it has relapsed again.
I am a cancer survivor and now a cancer patient again. Officially a stage 4 breast cancer patient. I was diagnosed in 2004 with breast cancer, I underwent a lumpectomy and subsequently chemotherapy as well as radiotherapy. The cancer has been in remission then.
Then last year after I tore my muscle while learning to play badminton, I noted a swelling and lump at the left breast again, but much higher up closer to the chest wall. MRI scans in 2010 did not reveal anything. But the mass persisted. In April 2015, I met my radiologist, the medical officer noted that this could be likely tissue hardening from the radiotherapy effects. I mentioned it to the visiting doctor again in National Cancer Centre lately during a followup in August and she adviced that I should quickly check with my surgeon.
Suddenly, I was caught in a whirlwind of events. First mammogram showed nothing, but ultrasound revealed a small regularly shaped mass on the left breast. My surgeon, being careful decided that I should have it out, though I was assured that based on the shape it is likely benign. The mass was sent for testing and the bad news started one after another. Results showed that is is malignant, I would have to go through a masectomy. I had choice of one or two breast. But before that to be on the safe side, it would be advisable to check if my other organs are cleared. A PET CT scan was to be done.
Somehow, I had a premonition. I don't know why, but when I was diagnosed in 2004 it was the same thing: First was a just a lump but fine needle biopsy showed inconclusive results, but because of my young age then, I was given a high chance that the lump was to be benign. But after removal, it was tested to be malignant. I was to undergo a second operation to remove more of the tissues and determine the spread. 2nd wave of bad news came - during the lumpectomy some of my lymph nodes were removed. The cancer had spread to the lymph nodes. Then a series of scans took place, bone scans, CT scan etc. 3rd wave of "bad news" - CT scan showed my liver had a large mass. It is either tumor or benign blood vessel - hemangioma they call it. I was lost entirely where would this wave of bad news end. I was then whisked off to do an MRI scan.
Finally, at the next visit to my breast surgeon. He declared that it was simply hemangioma - a clump of blood vessel that I was born with and I was cleared to go for chemotherapy and radiotherapy.
This time, it is the same, the lump, then masectomy and somehow I have a dejavu feeling going for the PET CT scan. It overwhelms me. To the point, when I sit in the PET CT scan machine, I start to panick, I feel like jumping out. I don't know why. And somehow when I later walked into my breast surgeon office, I felt a foreboding sense of bad news.
Yes, the PET CT scans shows that I have 4 nodules in my both my lungs, 2 on the left, 2 on the right with 2 on the top and 2 on the bottom, I will need to go for lung biopsy before the doctors can prescribe any treatment.
I have since done my lung biopsy last Thursday. It is cancerous. ER positive, PR positive and HER2 negative.
Doctor says I have the best case scenario in a bad situation. Now waiting for treatment options.
My fight for cancer starts again.
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